Night
Amy stood and carefully picked her way around the other girls who were still sleeping in the still night. She caught sight of the small display of the microwave in the kitchen and saw that it was just after 2 in the morning. Stepping further into the dark, she made her way to the bathroom.
She felt sick, she felt like shit. Her stomach was churning and she felt like she could collapse. She slumped against the wall once inside the bathroom and reached up to click the lock on the door.
Just getting out of the room was helping her feel better. It was hard to perform social interaction as long as a sleepover required. She hated being here. Hated these people. It felt like it was only a matter of time before they pulled some kind of bullshit. She was only here because her mom worried about the kinds of people she spent time with now and pouted until she talked to Katie about this fun girls night sleepover. “You used to be such good friends with Katie” she had said, “I’ll bet she has an invite ready for you and everything. Go on, it’ll be good for you”
Maybe she should get one over on them. Ruin their fun before they could make a fool of her. She hugged herself in the dark of the bathroom. “Good for me my ass.” She muttered to herself in the dark. Real good for her would’ve been a mom who didn’t try to control her. Real good would be screwing over Katie and her stupid party. Petty spiteful revenge for embarrassing her. For abandoning her. For telling other girls the secrets shared between best friends. She hated it here. She hated these people. She wanted to hurt these people, to take the pain they inflicted on her and make a demonstration of herself.
She stood and began to reach around in the dark, feeling her way towards the tub and turning the facet on. Feeling further, she found the plug and stopped up the bath. It wasn’t going to matter what temperature the water reached in the end; she turned the other facet on full as well. She sat on the edge of the tub as the seconds crawled by, a hand patiently waiting in the tub until it reached a decent depth.
How spiteful. She thought. To choose to die here just because you don’t like these people. Sucks that I won’t get to see the look on Katie’s face. But, better here than at home, sad and pathetic. At least here you get to traumatize some teenagers. At least here it gets to mean something.
Once the tub was full and the water off, Amy walked back to the door and paused to listen. It didn’t sound like anyone was out there so, softly as she could, she clicked the door back unlocked. She turned her back to the door and noticed the way the moon caught on the surface on the water. A sliver of a thing in the sky tonight, just able to make it’s mark in the sky unlike countless stars she’d never seen. Maybe she’d be marked among those unseen stars tonight. A special treat only for those who could find a sky untouched by light pollution.
She stepped closer and disrupted the image on the surface. No time for flowery thoughts, now was a time for cruel action. Not wanting to strip herself, she stepped into the water fully clothed. The water was a fine enough temperature. She turned and stepped her other foot in, soon settling her body in the water. She rested for a moment with her eyes closed. This is it. She reminded herself. The moment you’ve chosen. Nothing more to it.
Amy slid under the surface of the water and held her breath. She was going to hold out until the instinct to breathe made her draw water. That way she was sure that she was doomed. When the time came, she was at peace. Breathing out and reflexively back in brought on the surge of water. It was deeply unpleasant and the deep instinctual part of her wanted to resist, but she was braced against the sides and determined to let it take her.
She was not long for the world.